I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
