Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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