it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
