CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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