So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
this boner is exhausting
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
