good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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