a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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