i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
