I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize