Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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