you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
