He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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