your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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