If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize