dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Girls should come with a carfax report
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
