dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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