Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Dick very happy bro
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
