call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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