im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
