I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize