I seem to have left my pride at pride
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
This toilet bowl is my home.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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