Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
