If i come over, it means nothing
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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