Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
