Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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