he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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