So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
