You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Someone came in the potted fern
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
