Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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