So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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