I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
