when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
