I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just forgot I was standing up.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
