Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
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