I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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