Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I love you.
Bad choice
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
