I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
high people should be assigned attendants
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Two words: blizzard sex
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
