I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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