My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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