She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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