Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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