you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
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I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
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Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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