you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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