So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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