it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
