Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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