The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
