I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I currently don't understand fingers.
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