they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
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