I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.