Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Boobs speak an international language.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
