is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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