I seem to have left my pride at pride
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
