You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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