I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize