you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
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Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
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The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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