Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
