She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
