My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
